What Would Martha Do?

Maybe a little over extended...

I think I had what some people call a "light bulb moment' this week. Allow me to share please. Last Monday night was 4-h in which I am a co-leader. This is truly no big deal.  I am not doing anything that I haven't  done the last 5 years for 4-h. Now I have a title, that's all. Then Tuesday, knitting. Yeah! Wait..Maybe not. We'll see...how is that? I was in Tier 2 of the knitting class.  Wednesday, I spent 7 hours preparing a lunch. Now, I am not saying this to brag or act like I need some accolades. I am bringing this up to preface the following: Thursday, we get to set down for a dinner. Well, one of gets to set down for dinner because we have one chair left. My poor kids. We have one chair left and here's the clincher: 4 forks. What in the heck happened to our forks, seriously. Now, I have heard of people losing socks, a remote, their car keys,  but forks????  So at dinner, I have to wait for someone to finish eating so I can use their fork..What's wrong with this family?

But here is what is cute....my kids like to eat together if it doesn't interrupt the fact they really hate each other...so there they were, trying to eat around the table despite the fact that we had one chair left. Isaac got the foot stool out of our living room and Sophie sat in the good ole' reliable folding chair. I couldn't help but think how pitiful this was because the night before I made soup and desert for 17 people from scratch.  But I cannot get it together enough to make sure my kids all have silverware!

ALERT!  here is an update:  We have since dwindled to 5 spoons. I repeat: 4 forks and 5 spoons for a family of 6!

My goal this weekend is for Rayzor to get more chairs out of storage. My boss actually let me take all these really cool old folding chairs probably from the 60's. They are metal and have a star punched out of the seat. I absolutly love them and I would have bought them at an auction or antique store if I had seen them there. So, I think I got a super steal. I have about 25 of them so when one breaks they are easily replacable. I am also going to invest in some forks. Maybe I will get  a matching set instead of the random antique forks that I pick up at auctions. When my kids complain I tell them that they are eating with fine silver. It's true. I think matchy matchy is overrated anyway. So take that Better Homes and Gardens.

*****************Random Dysfunctional Functionings for your amusement****************************
Good news for parents that are worried about Youtube. The other eve I was sitting on the couch playing with Lilly. I see Isaac walk by with a big bucket of drywall mud. I truly think nothing of it.
15-minutes later, Isaac comes back down and takes up a few peices of wood. Still not worried. The next day, he gets the bucket again. This time I asked, "Isaac, what are you doing?"
Isaac: Oh I am patching some drywall.
Mary: Mmmmm...really?
Isaac: Youtube
Mary: Cool. Carry on.
ME about 3 days later: Duh, why didnt I ask why he needs to patch a hole? Nevermind, do I really want o know? The answer is no. I hope I will never know.

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Sometimes, Rayzor makes me aware of my idiosyncrasies more than I would like him to. He told me that I repeat myself. Now I do not mean repeat myself like those people in our life that we all know....they tell the same story all the time over and over. I know I do that! I mean that I repeat myself within  a minute or  in the same  conversation. 15 minutes later I won't even remember the conversation.
Rayzor: What time does Hells kitchen come on?
Mary: 9:00, because I watched it when you were asleep.
Rayzor: I am going to check the preview guide.
Mary: I watched it when you were asleep. I know it was on because I watched it when you were asleep last week. I watched it at 9:00 when you were sleeping.(breath) I got home from picking Jacob up at tae Kwon do and watched  it when you were asleep.
Rayzor: OK jeesh. Do you know that you repeat yourself? Seriously.You dont have to. I am not in 2nd grade.
Mary: I do ...not. I do not repeat myself I do not know why you would say that I repeat myself. Jeeessh.
I told my niece, Liz, a long time ago to not let me become some old lady that smelled and I didn't realize it or  become insane.I guess it is too late....for the insanity part not smelling hopefully:)
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I have mentioned before that Rayzor is quite the cook because he did work at Hardees. I can not deny my man this notch in his culinary belt. So today, I get home from school and I am excited to go to the  store to get some groceries and make some munchies and chill out on Friday eve.

Mary: Come on Sophie. Lets go to the store. I am starving.

Sophie: Oh, I am full.

Mary: ( I know we have no groceries) What in the world did you eat?

Sophie: Oh, Daddy made me tuna casserole.

Mary: Really? (I know they didn't serve that at Hardees!)

Sophie: Yeah, he made it with a package of oodles of noodles,a can of tuna and a little mayonnaise.

Mary: Wow, we should make a cookbook with daddy's best recipies. That def. should go in there.

Sophie: Right after Bologna Pie

OK, Can you imagine how irritated I get when he disses my cooking??? Bologna pie is slices of thick bologna wrapped between two pie crusts and baked, I would guess, at about 350  for maybe 25 minutes if anyone has a craving.

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I will leave you with a ETDM...that is an acronym for Embarassing Teen Daughter Moment. Sophie and I were at Food LE-on in the checkout. I had $44.00 in cash and my debit card. I wanted to use my cash because  well, *ahem*,  I am not good at balancing my checkbook. So, the chick was ringing it up and it came to $43.76. I was like, "woo-hoo". Sophie was turning red becasue I was nudgin' her like "Look at that, I'm good!. Then the real embarrasing moment happened when I said ala Arnold Schwarzegger,    "They dont call me the ESTIMATOR for nothing"

The Power within

Greetings. I hope everyone had a rockin' groundhog day.I personally love this holiday. Isn't that odd? I know...what is the big deal. There are no traditional foods (although I suppose you could eat groundhog) no decorations, no real anticipation. Yet, I love it. I know you are dying to figure this out. It is really simple actually. The very first movie I ever saw at the drive-in  in Stephen's City, Va was "A River Runs Through it" and you guessed it, "A Groundhog Day". I am really disappointed that this movie isn't on more frequently as we approach this big day. As a matter of fact, I actually looked it up on the TV guide and it will be on Monday at 6 on FX. Well, it was on .... Just in case you wanna' know. My husband, Razor, took me that fateful night. Little did he know that this eve would spawn my infatuation with groundhogs. I love Bill Murray. I could watch "What About Bob?" a million times. If you have never ever seen this movie, rent it. It is the perfect sick-in-bed-need-chicken-soup- kinda movie. So, yeah Groundhog day is kinda' me and Rayzor's holiday. On Monday  we even had a romantic dinner outside of Arby's in Winchester. The snow was really coming down and the scent of curly fries wafting truly made this a romantic moment. By the way, I am not joking. I felt like we were dating again. I was in his little Toyota and he had just gotten off work and  he smelled like cement. Good times, I tell ya'.

Speaking of Rayzor, I have come to the realization that this man  thinks rather highly of me. I cannot believe I have never seen it before. He claims truly believes that I have a power that is of the supernatural. Yes, for instance, if he is watching his beloved Cowboys play a football game and I come into the room I am not allowed to talk, walk hard, sigh, or even breathe. Because it is I, Mary Lind, that can make the Cowboys lose  a point, fumble or whatever it is that the team does Not want to do. Can you believe that? I have the entire NFL at my command. I simply ask this, has anyone told Jessica Simpson that it is me not her that makes Dallas lose? I am sure she would be very relieved to know this. Not only do Jessica and I share the same love for tuna but we also share the same  lovely physique (yes she is being called shapely), and the label of curse of the cowboys. I hold all three titles with my head held high:tuna lover, pleasantly plump, and curse of the cowboys.

So, even though I truly do not believe in Ray's claims of ending the Cowboy's chance at the super bowl (You are welcome Steeler's fans) I do think I have some real power within that I need to channel . I mean, if you can dream it you can achieve it right? Feb. is such a downer (after groundhog day that is). It lasts forever and you seem to be cooped up all day. So, I envisioned myself knitting and embroidering. I signed up to take knitting classes and I have a cute design on my hoop at home that I have half- finished  embroidering already.

 Everyone wants to be more healthy.  I am not just talking about weight wise. I mean knowing that the food your are ingesting and giving to your kids is whole, organic, and minimally processed. Organic stuff is expensive. So, it is this week that I am starting my own sourdough starter. This takes 5 days and you need no yeast. The starter makes its own yeast and it is actually better for you. I will tell you how  this works.

I thought I would fill you all in on Rayzor's latest challenge.  Here is a glimpse at my world after dinner every eve basically. Jacob thinks my husband is a poser metal-head because he said he liked the Beatles (who doesn't?). So it goes like this :

Jacob: You are a poser Daddy. I can't believe you like a band Sophie likes.

Rayzor: Jacob, I like all kinds of music. I could name a 100 bands I like.

Jacob: 100 METAL bands

Razor: My favorite #1 band Is Motley Crue followed by Slayer then Metallica then Judas Priest

(Me rolling my eyes wondering how I dated him when I was a teenager)

Jacob: I thought you liked all kinds of music

Rayzor: (taking to a new level out of nowhere) I could name a 1000 bands

Jacob: Do it. 

(Me in the background wondering how long this is going to take and contemplating interrupting this conversation)

Rayzor: Oh I can do it. Ill do a little at a time. Every time I go to the bathroom Ill write down band names.

So, see? Here is my husband's priority. Trying to prove to his 11 year old son that he can name 1,000 band names to prove....? Did you get  what he is trying to prove?

I'll leave you with these words form Sophie:

Sophie: OH Gandhi! That's who I should do for my role-model biography!

Me: Yeah, that's a great idea (me proud of my daughter for being so wise and deep)
Sophie: I was him in my past life,  you know.

Me: Really, huh? ( Wow!  I am thinking she is already starting her voyage into self-discovery and questioning religion...I was at least 18 when I did this...)

Sophie: Well, that's what the quiz on facebook said anyway.